youre lurking in front of me
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i drank out of a bidet.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Randomize
