I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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