she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Randomize
