I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
