This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
