Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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