I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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