If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
