I'm really into asian looking animals
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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