OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
