You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
