True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
