genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
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