no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
