Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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