I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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