Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
