we have pet lesbian snakes
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
