i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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