Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
