he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
