Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Randomize
