I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I am naked and annoyed.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
