Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
