I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
