Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
