i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
did i just pee glitter
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