Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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