Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize