I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
