So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
