It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
