ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
