remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
