Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
