is wine microwaveable?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
