Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
