Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
