i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
