It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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