If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
