just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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