I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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