Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
