Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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