I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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