i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
