hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
