3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
