I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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